A Few More Details

Thanks, Jane … I do feel bad about Mark. Yes, I’m still in shock, and trying to “get my head around” his issues with his life.

I had a pretty long chat with Diana (Aunt Maxine’s niece, our second cousin, and Melissa’s and Matt’s mom) last night, after she got back from the visitation at Cunningham Funeral Home in Bridgeport. She said the visitation went well, and that there was a pretty good turnout. A few classmates from RHHS turned out, as well as a few of the mothers of classmates who had moved away. She was in a bit of a “tizzy” (nothing new there) and said she remembered seeing our floral arrangement up at the front.

I got a little more information from her, as she had chatted quite a bit with Kim McAdow (Mark’s second wife, the apparent object of his issues). I also got more information from Diana regarding their divorce.

I’m no psychiatrist or psychologist, but it seems the problems Mark had centered around huge problems with co-dependence. With a capital "C".

Diana opened up about their breakup and said that Mark had exhibited signs of issues with this during that scenario, but Diana felt that the kids had prevented Mark from being seriously dangerous to either Diana or to himself at that time.

Obviously, he didn’t feel those same controls with Kim.

She reiterated that the Trim Masters lawn-chair-shotgun-strapped-to-chest incident wasn’t the first time he’d gotten in trouble with Kim … apparently he had broken into her apartment before that episode and had threatened both Kim and himself with a shotgun.

I asked her if this Kim was some “beauty queen” or something, and she said she wouldn’t call her a “great beauty … not bad looking, though”.

Odd thing she did bring out, that sort of cemented a diagnosis of a massive case of co-dependency, is that while he was living in a trailer or something on Ira Heath’s old place off Rte. 50, some younger area girl who had a crush on him had walked in, laid down across his bed (undressed) and had offered herself to him. He told her “I don’t want you, or anything to do with you, so get dressed and get out of here now.”

Clearly I didn’t teach him enough in our formative years.

I'm supposed to get a call from her again, later this weekend, to catch up on how the private family burial went.

Anyway ... I found his very simple and to-the-point obituary on the Vincennes Sun-Commercial website today:

MARK R. MCADOW

LAWRENCEVILLE, Ill. - Mark R. McAdow, 47, Sumner, died at 11 a.m. Tuesday on Ill. 250 east of Lawrenceville.

He worked as a carpenter.

Survivors include his mother, Nona Springdorf McAdow, Sumner; one daughter, Melissa Peters, Fishers, Ind.; one son, Matt R. McAdow, Terre Haute; five brothers, Bob McAdow, Chicago; David McAdow, Mooresville, Ind.; Mike McAdow, Lawrenceville; Jim McAdow, Bridgeport; Terry McAdow, Bridgeport; two sisters, Debbie Weiler, Edwardsport; and Cheryl Alexander, St. Joseph, Mich.

Visitation will be from 1 to 3 p.m. Friday at the Cunningham Funeral Home in Bridgeport.

Burial will be in the Bridgeport City Cemetery.