I Was Very Happy This Morning ...

... when I discovered this on e-Bay:
Ah yes ... "Daring new ... dazzling new". "Flair-Fashioned and Alive with Beauty" ... that certainly was the true essence of "Maude".

Why didn't they mention you could stuff a six-pack of Miller Lite (cans, not bottles) up behind and on top of the cardboard glove compartment? Or, that it easily transports 4 nieces and nephews on the floor so they can't be seen? Sheesh. LOL

It Is A Very Special Day

Pictured above:

The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver, BC.

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton "for his foresight in military budget cuts" and his conduct while president. The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched or landed on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board. The 20 person crew is completely diversified and includes members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation. This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An on board Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may sound hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense, but instead in times of conflict the USS William J. Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada. The ship may be positioned near the Democratic National Party Headquarters for photo-ops and can be used extensively for social experimentation, and whatever other worthless jobs, the ex-commander-in-chief and his wife can think of.

It is largely rumored that the ship will also be the set for the upcoming season of MTV's "The Real World".

The ship was renamed and commissioned USS William J. Clinton when someone realized the USS Blowfish was already taken.

It's Always Something ...

... see this? It's one of the custom-built valances over one of the family room sliding door out to the deck.

Or ... at least it was, until Elwood decided to jump up onto it again last night and knocked it off the wall. (I must admit, however, that Scott [the prior owner] did a nice job of making it, but a very piss-poor job of putting it up)

:: sighing here ::

Yet another thing to add to this weekend's chores.

Like John said last night, at least it's not an elbow hole in the ceiling.